Can’t I just give them a thousand words?

 Picture for a short story

I’m in Facebook now.  I’m not real sure what that means, but I’m there.  I’ll be spending the next month figuring that out.  This whole project has been a continual process of creating horribly intricate and complex riddles that I then have to solve.  I mean, have you ever seen the Google Analytics page?

At any rate, I’ve started the process of finding a picture of myself to post online.  Such a fun task.  I know the internet has come a long way and everybody does it now and blah blah blah but I still feel like there’s three steps.  There’s me putting my picture online.  Then something bad happens.  Then the third step is me trying to convince my pimp that I just need a little more time and I’ll be sure to come up with his money.

Also there’s the fun fact that I tend to only get my picture taken at parties and weddings, usually after a couple of drinks, so I wind up looking like a camel trying to do an impersonation of Rodney Dangerfield.  Actually, I have a decent picture, but I’m wearing a tie and I’m not sure that fits in with the whole “Author” image.  You people should revere me and only picture me in bold poses with stubble on my face and heads of animals mounted on my wall (thank you, Ghost of Ernest Hemingway).  I mean, you seeing me in a tie could undo thousands of hours of work I’ve put in trying to come across as cool.

And then, of course, there’s going too far the other way.  Which is where I dig up a picture where I look just like someone who’s trying really really hard to look like an author…glasses I don’t need, wind blowing my untucked shirt about in a flurry that my devil-may-care attitude doesn’t notice because I’m too busy staring off at the horizon.  I actually have a picture like that.  You’ll never see it.

So I have no idea.  Maybe I should just pick one where I look good and forget about it.  It’s just the tie is sort of bugging me.  Oh well, I have months to agonize over this.  On the other hand I only have a week to write my next story.  And I’m absolutely nowhere with that.