The “Dollar Menu Team” is always so injury plagued.

The MLB All-Star game is being played at Yankee Stadium this year. My family has held season tickets since before I existed and I asked my mom if there was any chance that this would translate into me maybe possibly going to the All-Star game possibly maybe. She forwarded on the official Yankee blurb concerning All-Star Game tickets:

“The Yankees are pleased to host the 2008 All-Star Summer including the 79th Major League Baseball (“MLB”) All-Star Game. For five action packed days, baseball’s biggest stars will descend on New York City for what will truly be a magical experience for the players and all Yankees fans. The All-Star events, which will be held at the Stadium, begin on Friday, July 11, 2008 with the opening of the DHL All-Star FanFest (which will be held at the Jacob K. Javits Center), followed by Taco Bell All-Star Sunday (featuring the XM All-Star Futures Game and the Taco Bell Legends & Celebrity Softball Game,) on Sunday July 13, 2008, Gatorade Workout Day (featuring the State Farm Home Run Derby), on Monday, July 14, 2008, and conclude with the 79th MLB All-Star Game, on Tuesday, July 15, 2008.

Given the importance of these events to our loyal Ticket Licensees, MLB and the Yankees will use commercially reasonable business efforts to offer all Ticket Licensees an opportunity to purchase, subject to availability, (as determined by MLB and the Yankees, from time to time) a Ticket license for the events during the MLB All-Star Summer ’08. For Ticket information about the 79th MLB All-Star Game, please reference the enclosed literature or simply visit www.yankees.com.”

Excellent.

I don’t even know where to start. The Gatorade Workout Day? The fact that the second paragraph made my head explode? Or maybe the “Taco Bell Legends and Celebrity Softball Game,” which, I’m sure, is a game where baseball legends and celebrities play softball and it’s sponsored by Taco Bell, only here it sounds like the Legends of Taco Bell will play softball against celebrities (…and it’s a hard line drive hit by Tony Danza that just barely sails over the glove of Chalupa. Scott Baio is rounding third while Nachos Bellgrande scrambles for the ball in the corner…).

Point being, I wouldn’t count on me blogging about a trip to the All-Star Game this summer.