Apollo Justice: The Game Where You Obsess over Women’s Underpants

A few days ago, while holiday shopping, I stumbled across some reviews for this video game, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney:

Apollo Justice

I immediately purchased a copy.

Being a rather huge video game nerd I sort of thought I had seen all possible types of games by now: side-scrollers, first person shooters, RPG’s, RTS’s, MMORPG’s. Somehow it had never occurred to me hope for a “Lawyering” game. Clearly that was my bad. Had I known what insane delights such a game would hold in store I’d have been writing letters to the appropriate parties years ago.

At first blush, Apollo Justice is pretty straightforward. You search a scene for clues. You then pick up the clues and examine them. Finally you go to court and yell a lot and use the right clues to pick apart statements from witnesses. It’s like law *and* order.

But then, a few hours into things, something happens. The case you’re working on takes a weird turn and, presto, this piece of dialogue pops up:

genius

Well of course I am. That’s actually why I got into law in the first place.

In fact, and this is kind of a funny story, back in Law School I…wait…what the fuck did that little girl just say?

Then, sure enough, the entire case starts to revolve around panties. Everyone gets into it. The judge:

judge

The witnesses:

witness

Everyone.

It’s a freaking perv convention.

But guess what? As if obsessing over panties wasn’t an odd enough theme for the game to follow, it suddenly gets even weirder:

dimensions

Uhhh…check please!

Sufficed to say I stayed up all night playing this game and am eagerly awaiting the sequel.