Pancakes make bad hats.
Living in Manhattan I can claim to have seen basically any celebrity I want to and nobody can prove me wrong.
I hate symbolism.
I quit smoking cold turkey after a full-on ten year habit but I can’t stop playing World of Warcraft.
They should have some sort of amusement park attraction where you get to try and plan, then carry out, the perfect bank heist.
The size of Centrum vitamins makes it clear that they were originally designed for horses.
I’m too out of shape to play Wii sports.
The number of different passwords I use is multiplying at an alarming rate.
I really like that ad where the pothole talks to the car with the flat tire.
Chicken fried steak is a vegetable.
The board game Clue sucks. I enjoy saying this.
I can think of maybe one movie this year that should get a best picture nomination.
Salads only serve to enrage me.
When I was younger, beer used to make me do crazy things and NyQuil used to put me to sleep. Somewhere over the years that has reversed itself.
Now that, like, 98% of all thoughts get captured in some form or another I wonder how long it will be until it’s impossible to have an original idea.
Powerpoint makes me sad.
I don’t think anyone actually listens to jazz except to try and impress people.
The term, “Jump the shark,” has jumped the shark.
I think I’d be a good money launderer.
Three-quarters of the facts you read online are made up.
I don’t understand why I keep ordering Club Sandwiches from places that can’t get normal sized sandwiches right.
As an author, being in the middle of a book sucks. All you can do to move forward is type and type and type and think boring, random thoughts.