I have absolutely zero idea what to write for today so that means it’s time for random thoughts that have been scribbled on various legal pads throughout my apartment over the past few months to be collected and written down here:
After ten years of living in New York I finally bought one of those subway map shower curtains. It’s better than I ever hoped it would be.
Wives in sitcoms are horrifically mean. Their husbands are morons.
I miss smoking.
I still can’t get over the fact that Marmaduke counts among the more interesting movies coming out this summer.
Why do reporters in the movies lick the tip of their pen before writing?
I have absolutely *no* idea how to go about releasing a book.
I always want to get one of those back rubs from the people at the street fairs in New York but I’m always too scared.
I’ve been doing this for years now and I still don’t understand how computer code works.
When I was in college I was writing a paper on Moby Dick and I noticed that my Word program’s spell-check kept wanting to change “Ishmael” into “fish meal.” I found this so fascinating I wrote it at the end of the paper. My teacher told me it made him laugh out loud. Then he gave me a C.
I, in no way, understand Adrian Brody’s career.
More things should fall under the jurisdiction of maritime law.
I don’t know a single man, woman or child who likes clowns.
I’d like to see a technology developed that would allow me to script my dreams beforehand. At the very least I’d like to be able to choose the setting.
Someone should design a computer that makes art. Not make art using a computer, mind you, but somehow teach a computer to make art. Like the computer could…make art…somehow. I haven’t really thought this one through.
Don Delilo’s Underworld is the perfect size for propping my air conditioner up on my windowsill come summertime.
I have a friend who’s currently watching Deadwood who wants to bring the phrase “hooplehead” back into general use. He has my full backing.
98% of old television show plots wouldn’t work in a world where cell phones exist.
I don’t understand plays.
They can swear an awful lot on basic cable nowadays.