My Body Vs Me

I have a strange predicament in my life wherein my own muscles and bones attempt to attack me and cause physical pain. Some equate this with “growing old,” and I suppose there is some support for that idea, though my neck has had it in for me since college. Anyway, over the course of this past weekend, me and a friend of mine were waiting for our elevator to drop us off at the correct floor and, since the wait was taking up literally seconds of our precious time, my friend drunkenly decided that he was bored and that he should throw a karate kick at me. Long story short, my shoulder hurts a lot.

On the upside I did stumble across this in the instructions for my icy-hot-heat-pad-thing:

I’m no math whiz but with a patch that lasts 8 hours how much of a risk are we at that people will be reapplying more than 3 times a day?

Not only would you need to stay up through the night to break this rule, you’d also have to fundamentally alter the reality of space-time.

I guess better safe than sorry, though.