10 Quick Facts About Korea

Korea

In light of the breaking news this week that North Korea’s weirdly androgynous leader has passed away, I thought I would do everyone a public service and put together ten key facts about Korea so you can seem smart without having to wade through all those newspaper articles.

 

  1. Korea is believed to have been written between the years 610 and 632.
  2. Contrary to popular belief, Muhammad is not believed to have written Korea, instead it is believed that he dictated Korea to his companions, who then transcribed it.
  3. Scholars of Korea believe that it contains prophesies that can exist in no other book written by humans.
  4. Korea…what? What do you mean I researched the wrong word?
  5. Look, just shut up, I’m doing my thing here.
  6. Korea is divided into 114 chapters, known as suras, which…wait that doesn’t sound right.
  7. What the fuck is a Koran?
  8. Where is Korea again? It’s up by Russia, right?
  9. I don’t know…they probably eat fish or something.
  10. Stop looking at me! What am I, the tour guide?! For the love of god I try and do something nice for you people and this is the thanks I get…just forget it!