I don’t have very much to say this week. I’m in a top-brain sort of mood. That’s what I call it when my brain refuses to function on a creative level and instead adopts a distant thoughtfulness about everything. As if I exist only to process the parts of the world I happen to encounter and then file it away somewhere.
It’s like my thoughts are only coming from the crown of my head. Not the front, like when I’m problem solving. And not the back of my brain, that chunk of my head at the base of my cranium that flares bright when I’m envisioning a new scene, or character, or dialogue.
Nope. It’s a top-of-head sort of week. Little spark. Lots of contemplating.
There was a death in my family recently and I was in New Jersey for the wake and funeral last week. That’s why I didn’t post anything. The death was natural and expected, so it wasn’t a hugely traumatic thing. And it has been weeks now since the actual news came, the weather pushed back the services. But it is definitely possible that I am still meditative over that.
Or maybe it’s because we had a weekend of sun and warm temperatures and now it’s dipping below freezing and multiple snow storms are expected. It’s hard to describe how nice it is to walk around this city and realize that it is waking up from the icy rings that are choking off every block. The sun was up, everything was dripping, you could hear melting all around. The side-walks were opening up and the streets were two lanes again and it was like Spring might actually be on its way. It was nice. But now: freezing cold and more snow predicted. That puts a halt to a lot of my thoughts.
It’s possible my brain is just resting. Or pausing. Like it’s intermission or something. It thinks the curtain has dropped for the time being and I can stop acting like someone I’m not, stop entertaining, stop trying to solve problems and just take a load off and stare into space.
It’s possible it’s all of these things or none of these things, but I’m just in a very still mood inside my head this week.
And, thus, not much exists to write about.