I’m rather feeling my oats right now. My first draft was done as of this morning, I’ve got a title, and here it is only Tuesday. I’m never this far ahead. I feel like my computer needs to explode or something to set the universe back in order.
I may change the title. I know I say that with every single title I put up, but this time I mean it. There are a number of variations on very very similar words that I keep playing around with. I feel like I’m close but still have yet to nail it dead on.
Right now, though, I’m watching lots of the Food Network off of my neglected DVR. There’s this show, “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” that I love. The guy has a knack for digging up interesting restaurants serving wonderfully un-hoity-toity stuff. As the name might suggest. Although there are a fair amount of ramshackle places that serve up preposterously upscale dishes. Duck con fit alongside of pancakes sort of thing.
Anyway, I love it. I sit and watch two episodes in a row and I’m utterly enraptured the entire time staring at hamburgers and fried chicken cooking. There was this one place that took three days to make their onion rings. Three! First they put the whole onions in the fridge for a day to dry them out a bit, (refrigerators are very dry places, so if you need to dry a chicken or something there are worse places you could stash it for a few hours) then they cut the onions into slices which go into the fridge for another day, then they finally dredge and cook them. Three day onion rings.
Man.
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I’m very curious to see the reaction to this next story. For starters, as I’ve mentioned, it’s actually short. The shorter stories tend to get read more because…well because they’re short I’d imagine. Also for newcomers it’s probably easier to take a chance on a few thousand words rather than eight thousand words. Suckers. You’ll never know what you’re missing.
This story is really so simple, though, and with just a hint of my out-there-ness. I dunno. This is like a drawing you do on a cocktail napkin while you’re out at a bar waiting for someone to show up, and you aren’t really thinking about much, you’re just sort of doodling, and when you’re done you look at what you did and think, “Huh. That’s kind of neat.” And the napkin goes into your wallet and even years later you find yourself taking it out now and then to look at it.
It’s sort of like that.
Also some huge scenes from the Matthew and Epp world clicked into place this morning. God, I love Kyo.
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Last week was a bit all over the place for a number of reasons. It took me until at least Thursday to recover from the Kentucky Derby for starters. I think I missed a few blog posts in there but I believe I’ve righted myself now and I’m back on track.
I even have a first draft for this week’s story done. I can’t remember the last time I was ahead on a story. It’s been quite awhile. It helps that this one is actually a short story. I tend to run a bit long with my tales. Back in my pre-internet days I would write a story and then look for magazines or journals to submit it to and some of them would have 1,000-2,000 word limits for entries. That’s not a story for me. That’s a title.
But this one is petite. And simple. And I kind of like it.
Needs a title, though.
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Okay. I really have nothing. Really. Zero idea what I want to write.
More importantly, the mechanism in my head that usually toys around with ideas isn’t toying. I’m not sure how to turn it back on. I should maybe try hitting myself over the head with things. Or my old standby of banging my head on my desk.
There’s a chance something will come along in the next two days. But I get the feeling that it’s going to be a bang-my-head-on-my-desk sort of weekend.
I should buy some Advil.
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What to write? I’ve got nothing. And I keep promising myself that I’m going to get on top of my current story so that things won’t be rushed next week…but really I’ve got nothing. Also I don’t know what day it is. Taking time off to go to the Kentucky Derby screwed me up. Usually I’m all perfectly scheduled in my head so I can tell when things are going wrong and it’s time to panic because I don’t have an idea. This week I’m not sure when to start panicking.
What haven’t I tried yet? I never made a promise to try all genres or anything, but I kind of want to try something new. Not quite sure what that might be. Gorilla documentary? Crying on the inside clown? “Die Hard” on a submarine?
This is why I don’t brainstorm. Or maybe this is why I should brainstorm more often.
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So I didn’t post on Friday because I was in transit to the Kentucky Derby. And I would have mentioned that earlier except that the trip was made as part of a surprise birthday party for a reader of this blog, and I didn’t want to spoil said surprise. Frankly I’m a little surprised I didn’t.
I’ve got another story due. Funny how that keeps happening. Luckily I just spent the last four days unplugged, which is the longest I’ve been away from this website since I started this project. So I feel a touch rejuvenated. On the other hand, I have precisely zero idea what to write. I’m running out of genres.
Anyway, right now I’m just going to sit on my couch and let the last traces of mint julep exit my bloodstream.
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The Pea Pod Gambit
by
Joseph Devon
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“You suck,” Seth said. He was lying flat on his back on an old beat up couch that was one step up from a college dorm room. The couch was long enough so that his whole body could sprawl out on it with either his feet or his head up on one of the arm rests. Seth enjoyed either position and alternated back and forth over the course of every Sunday afternoon. He was currently favoring a head on the armrest position, and he was leaned slightly off the couch in an attempt to get the attention of Atticus.
Atticus was on the smaller couch that was at a right angle to the foot of Seth’s couch, with just enough room for someone to walk through, comfortable lounging space being at a premium over things like the ability to walk out of the living room and into the rest of the apartment.
Atticus’s couch was like a dirty marshmallow, the once bright creamy fabric now dingy and tattered. His lanky body was folded into an angle, the shorter couch requiring him to use both armrests as he lounged, his knees slung over one and his head propped on the other, a feat his body had long since learned to manage with maximum comfort while still leaving enough room to manipulate the plastic video game guitar controller in his hands.
“You suck,” Seth repeated, louder. Continue reading ‘Short Story: The Pea Pod Gambit’
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I used to think I was kind of a funny guy…used to. Back in the days before I tried writing this story. Now I’m not so sure.
Comedy is hard. Every interview with every writer, actor, director, anywhere, ever, when asked what the hardest genre to create is, has produced the response that comedy is the hardest of all of them. Turns out that every interview with anyone anywhere ever was right.
Who knew?
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I’m not so sure about this story. But in a different way. For the first time since the start of this project I really feel the need for more space. As I mentioned earlier, this is my attempt at a comedy, and the only comedy I know how to do is smart-ass comedy. A couple of guys getting drunk and making fun of each other. And one of them is probably fat. That’s all I got. What I’m finding is that the basic idea behind this story isn’t so bad. There are a lot of interesting places to hang scenes, only, I don’t have the room. I think with a fuller medium this would be better. Short stories aren’t exactly the easiest things to squeeze zany fun into. Of course every single one of you out there reading this right now is going, “Yes. No shit, you moron.” I’m not sure how I got it into my head to squeeze “Old School” into the art form that was used to write “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” but here I am.
Oh well.
Onwards.
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I have 6.4 days worth of music on my computer, according to iTunes. What iTunes doesn’t want to tell me is why, with the random toggle on and that much music to go through, I wind up hearing “Cheeseburger in Paradise” about four times per day.
I was supposed to write all afternoon but wound up getting sucked into a YouTube black hole. I stumbled onto a sequence of Eddie Izzard clips, and that just kept going and going and led me to and more things and on and on. I’d embed some of my favorites here, but you’re really better off just following this link or this link and watching the videos at the YouTube site so you can also follow at your heart’s content from one video to the other and hopefully get as little done during your day as I did during mine.
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